Raspberry Cheesecake Parfaits (For Two)

IMG_0606_Paula Deen is a lot of things: racist, Southern, butter… But damnit, she makes great dessert. And if you like cheesecake (like me), but are too lazy to make it (like me), then these parfaits are the answer. You get the rich and creamy texture of a cheesecake with that tangy and sweet raspberry, but don’t have to bullshit with slicing anything. So no one can point at you and say “HAY SHE HAD THREE PIECES!!!” You’ll say, “No, I had one huge jar. Now shut up and eat your kale chips.”

The best part about this dessert is that it’s red and white, so you can make it for Canada Day and pass it off as patriotic! YAAAY!

The worst part about it is nothing. There is no bad part about it.

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Best Blackberry Cobbler

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I worked hard for this cobbler. I slithered my arm through tangles of thorns, I balanced like a ballerina on the tip of my big toe to reach the juiciest blackberries at the top of the bush. I risked falling into a nest of prickles to bring you this recipe. But it was all worth it, because this is the best blackberry dessert I’ve ever had, and the only cobbler I’ll ever make. It’s very simple, easy, and you will burn your mouth rushing to eat it.

This is straight from my cookbook by Ree Drummond from The Pioneer Woman. Her recipes are sugar free, gluten free, fat free, and guilt free, just like mine. HAHA. Just kidding. The Pioneer Woman was the first food blog I ever read, and the one that inspired me to start my own. I realize that linking to her website is going to create an immediate comparison of our photos or recipes, but there is one thing I think I have on Ree Drummond. Since I’m not being paid by advertisers or any television network, I’m uncensored. I have my freedom. I can still say the F-word.

………………….Fart.

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Cold Brew Coffee

IMG_7276_My first job was at a tiny cafe when I was sixteen. I worked there for two years making lattes and shit, way before I knew that being a barista was supposed to be “cool”. I got there at 6:30AM and would shoot the shit with a bunch of salty old men while I brewed their coffee. (One time we ran out of cream, so I gave them milk instead. I got a real tongue lashing for that one, Jesus Christ.) WELL it turns out that during my time as a coffee machine, I didn’t actually learn that much. There is a lot more to making coffee than I thought, and I’m still learning.

I’ve finally learned of the brewing method called the “cold brew”. So this is going to be a Cold Brew How-to. Apparently, cold brew coffee is not just “iced coffee” – it is literally coffee brewed with cold water. It’s an easy beverage to make ahead of time, it’s less acidic with a smoother flavour, and can keep up to two weeks in the fridge. You can just pour a cup before work, add cream, don’t add cream, some ice maybe, and it’s a super quick iced coffee to-go.

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Lavender Honey Lemonade


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It’s like, getting hot out. So I thought I needed a cold drink or something. Ever since I bought these lavender florets, I have been thinking of ways to infuse it into everything. I even have a tiny sachet of lavender that I keep in my dresser and furiously rub all over whatever shirt I’m about to put on. So I took a chance with this recipe, and I really liked it. Lavender has a strong floral aroma but the amount used in this recipe only gives off a subtle, romantic flavour, with just enough honey to cradle the citrus. All righty?

And I want to thank all of you for reading my recipes, because without this blog I would be playing way too much Sims 4.

LET THE BEAT DROP.

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