Hi friends. I’ve been away for a while. But I’m here now. Did you know that natural sunlight is pretty imperative to food photography if you have no artificial lighting? Yeah. It is important. I’ve just been taking awful photo after awful photo. But then I woke up one morning and it was like Beyonce was standing in the doorway: there was an overwhelming burst of sunshine, my hair blew back, and I knew everything was going to be OK. I whipped up my usual Bacon, Egg & Avocado Bagel and I snapped these pictures for you. This recipe is fucking delicious.
I wake up like this.
This recipe is Flawless.
It was the Best Thing I Ever Had.
OK OK I’m done.
Hello my babies.
It’s raining here in Victoria and when I think of rain, I inevitably think of soup. (Obviously, what a cliche train of thought…This girl is so boring.) When I was growing up, my mom would make soup or stew on rainy days, and I would cry. It seems kind of dramatic, but soup just isn’t my style. The only thing that made me cry faster than soup was being dragged along to Fabricland with my mom. A stranger’s van is more kid-friendly than Fabricland. (Sorry, mom. Love you.) Anyway, let’s get back to this bangin’ SOUP.
How many pumpkin-themed recipes do you want? (WHERE MY BASIC BITCHES AT?)
“Katie. Why don’t you just go to Jessica Seinfeld’s website? Jerry Seinfeld’s wife. She has a food blog AND a cookbook, and she is funny. Just send her a picture of yourself and say you admire her and MAYBE she will link you to her thousands of Instagram followers? THAT’S who you should be making connections with. People like that.”
What have I been waiting for? All I have to do is email the most famous people I can think of? DOY. Well fuck it, why don’t we just skip Jessica Seinfeld and go straight to Oprah??
Mom, you’re the cutest.
So I’ve had an SLR camera for about five years now, and I just learned what “aperture” and “shutter speed” meant about three days ago. I guess I should be embarrassed but I just live in my own little world doing my little doogie thang (doogie is a word I use for anyone that is lovably clueless/stupid/unaware). So I hope you’ll find that these pictures look slightly brighter, more colourful and more pleasurable to your eyeball.
If there’s some photographer out there looking at my photos, I know they’ve got a sympathetic smirk on their face as if to say, “Oh look, she wants to be a photographer! Bless her heart.”
Bless my heart, you guys.
Little doogie (that’s me) figured out how to make a light box this weekend, thanks to this tutorial. That’s right. My photography is about to get a little less embarrassing and a little more delicious.
This is another favorite from my cookbook by the Pioneer Woman. The scones are crumbly, tender, light and on their own not overly sweet. But they’ve been dancing in a maple-flavoured rain, and they gotsta warm up with a cup o’ tea.
Usually for lunch at work I’ll have a granola bar, a banana, a sandwich with some kind of sugar-packed spread. I sit there in the lunch room with my feet propped up, viciously gnawing off a piece of the granola bar into my mouth (rock hard from the cold weather). I look down at the crumbs on my shirt and nod. My hair is frizzy, my eyeliner is smeared. I am an idiot.
But with my new lunch, I am Cool Girl.
“Do you know what biscotti is?” I asked my boyfriend lovingly, and with an appropriately serious tone.
“It’s that long hard cookie you dick into your coffee,” he responded, “I mean dunk.”
I used to hate biscotti, until, like, yesterday, because I didn’t understand it. HARD cookie? Sliced? Crunchy? Words? What was going on. But it turns out, biscotti is pretty good. And even though I’ve never tried the store-bought stuff, I’m sure (like anything else) homemade is better. And these really taste like oblong cinnamon buns.
So enjoy your dicking. I mean dunking.
If you’re learning to bake, or new to baking, or have anger issues, maybe this post can help you.
Mom came to visit this weekend and brought in her little suitcase a box of lard, a bag of apples and a dash of family fun! Golly it was a time.
My mom has made this pie about two hundred times, so I decided to soak in an extra pastry tutorial with my camera while she did all the work. Plus, this pie is a hot prize. I don’t usually post recipes that I haven’t actually made myself, but she my mom. She can be my proxy.
SHE MY MOM