Raspberry Cheesecake Parfaits (For Two)

IMG_0606_Paula Deen is a lot of things: racist, Southern, butter… But damnit, she makes great dessert. And if you like cheesecake (like me), but are too lazy to make it (like me), then these parfaits are the answer. You get the rich and creamy texture of a cheesecake with that tangy and sweet raspberry, but don’t have to bullshit with slicing anything. So no one can point at you and say “HAY SHE HAD THREE PIECES!!!” You’ll say, “No, I had one huge jar. Now shut up and eat your kale chips.”

The best part about this dessert is that it’s red and white, so you can make it for Canada Day and pass it off as patriotic! YAAAY!

The worst part about it is nothing. There is no bad part about it.

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Everything Pasta

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You know when you were a kid and you’d make “soup” in the backyard, which basically consisted of grass and weeds and shit in a bucket of water? You were just throwing everything in there, whatever you wanted. And you were probably hanging out with your imaginary friend Shadow because I guess your real friends were busy again (because you did have friends, for the record). This pasta is sort of like that soup. Made with fresh tomatoes, the homemade sauce will happily welcome your favorite veggies or meat. You can throw whatever you want in there… and hopefully have more than a Shadow to eat it with.

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Pots De Creme

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Part one: a recipe for a rich and dense chocolate custard you can make with just four ingredients, and a blender! An idiot could make this dessert. (And an idiot did!)

Part two: another prank on my mom.

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Chocolate Caramel Tarts (or bars!)

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Happy Mother’s Day to my mom, who is the loveliest lady in my life. She constantly says things that are adorable, like the time she was pulled over, and upon being asked if she’d had anything to drink that night replied, “just milk!” She still loved me after getting a call letting her know that “Katie is pooping under the neighbour’s tree” when I was three. She tolerated the many times my sister and I trapped her in the bathroom until she said the one word she hates more than any word, ever (The C Word). She is patient and kind. And she’s going to be pissed about the picture I posted below.

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Espresso Energy Balls

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Hiii. Due to the overwhelming (luke-warm) response on my Instagram page, I decided to make this my next post. You know when you’re at work and you just need a little snacky-poo? This is the snacky-poo you need. Creamy almond butter, rolled oats and ground flaxseed mixed with freshly ground espresso and chocolate chips, then rolled into bite-size balls that you can eat quickly and suspiciously because you’re not really supposed to be eating at work. And then somebody says, “What’s that?”

“It’s an energy ball!”

“What’s an energy ball?” 

“It’s like a, like, rolled oats and almond butter, and some chocolate, there’s some energy in there. It’s balls-it’s a ball. It tastes good. …..I have energy now!”

You too can have the energy, if you make these balls.

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Chicken Tortilla Soup (with Cornbread recipe)

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Hello my babies.

It’s raining here in Victoria and when I think of rain, I inevitably think of soup. (Obviously, what a cliche train of thought…This girl is so boring.) When I was growing up, my mom would make soup or stew on rainy days, and I would cry. It seems kind of dramatic, but soup just isn’t my style. The only thing that made me cry faster than soup was being dragged along to Fabricland with my mom. A stranger’s van is more kid-friendly than Fabricland. (Sorry, mom. Love you.) Anyway, let’s get back to this bangin’ SOUP.

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Paolo’s Pasta

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This is my super fast, easy, shit-for-brains pasta recipe, known traditionally as  “Spaghetti Olio e Aglio” which I can’t pronounce – hence the new name. My friend Paolo made this for me years ago, and I’ve just been cooking this ever since. Paolo is really good at cooking Italian food (never figured out why) and would produce pasta recipes out of thin air. Then they’d disappear and we’d never eat them again! So I had to learn to make this myself.

Thankfully, it is stupidly easy, and absolutely delicious. It will give you a new outlook on spaghetti: it’s not just for marinara sauce and meatballs. All you need is five ingredients, and a friend.

…Because it serves two. You can still eat this if you have no friends!

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