Paula Deen is a lot of things: racist, Southern, butter… But damnit, she makes great dessert. And if you like cheesecake (like me), but are too lazy to make it (like me), then these parfaits are the answer. You get the rich and creamy texture of a cheesecake with that tangy and sweet raspberry, but don’t have to bullshit with slicing anything. So no one can point at you and say “HAY SHE HAD THREE PIECES!!!” You’ll say, “No, I had one huge jar. Now shut up and eat your kale chips.”
The best part about this dessert is that it’s red and white, so you can make it for Canada Day and pass it off as patriotic! YAAAY!
The worst part about it is nothing. There is no bad part about it.
Today while I was walking down the street, I passed a dude who jabbed his finger at me while yelling “fuck YOU,” and adding a hearty “FUCK YOU, TOO” to the rest of the people on the street.
I’m still not sure what caused his outburst – was he ill? Was he on my period?
“Have a good one!” I shouted over my shoulder.
At first I wasn’t sure what had upset him so. But later, I came to a conclusion: I think he had eaten a dark, dry and tasteless pumpkin pie. He was probably forced to buy one from the grocery store, over-spiced and overpriced. What “fuck you” really meant was, “fuck you for not sharing with all of us the pie recipe you have enjoyed for years. Fuck you for making us live this way.”
Street Meanie, this one’s for you.