Paula Deen is a lot of things: racist, Southern, butter… But damnit, she makes great dessert. And if you like cheesecake (like me), but are too lazy to make it (like me), then these parfaits are the answer. You get the rich and creamy texture of a cheesecake with that tangy and sweet raspberry, but don’t have to bullshit with slicing anything. So no one can point at you and say “HAY SHE HAD THREE PIECES!!!” You’ll say, “No, I had one huge jar. Now shut up and eat your kale chips.”
The best part about this dessert is that it’s red and white, so you can make it for Canada Day and pass it off as patriotic! YAAAY!
The worst part about it is nothing. There is no bad part about it.
My first job was at a tiny cafe when I was sixteen. I worked there for two years making lattes and shit, way before I knew that being a barista was supposed to be “cool”. I got there at 6:30AM and would shoot the shit with a bunch of salty old men while I brewed their coffee. (One time we ran out of cream, so I gave them milk instead. I got a real tongue lashing for that one, Jesus Christ.) WELL it turns out that during my time as a coffee machine, I didn’t actually learn that much. There is a lot more to making coffee than I thought, and I’m still learning.
I’ve finally learned of the brewing method called the “cold brew”. So this is going to be a Cold Brew How-to. Apparently, cold brew coffee is not just “iced coffee” – it is literally coffee brewed with cold water. It’s an easy beverage to make ahead of time, it’s less acidic with a smoother flavour, and can keep up to two weeks in the fridge. You can just pour a cup before work, add cream, don’t add cream, some ice maybe, and it’s a super quick iced coffee to-go.
Welcome to the easiest, most simple dessert you’ll ever make. A complete IDIOT could make this cake. Your dog could make this cake. That kid that picked their nose in elementary school while blank-faced staring out the window could make this cake (although nobody would want to eat it).
It is layers of chocolate cookies and whipped cream, refrigerated until the cookies soften into cake. It isn’t an overly sweet cake (the cookies taste similar to Oreos) and being a refrigerated dessert, it is very refreshing during this hot-as-shit weather. I made the cookies from scratch (from the recipe below) but if you really wanted to speed things up, you could use store-bought chocolate wafer cookies, which would make this a 2-ingredient recipe. They are just hard to find sometimes, and I have better things to do than wander around the cookie aisle (LOL jk).
WARNING: this cake must be refrigerated overnight at least! This is not a same-day recipe. SORRY!!!
It’s like, getting hot out. So I thought I needed a cold drink or something. Ever since I bought these lavender florets, I have been thinking of ways to infuse it into everything. I even have a tiny sachet of lavender that I keep in my dresser and furiously rub all over whatever shirt I’m about to put on. So I took a chance with this recipe, and I really liked it. Lavender has a strong floral aroma but the amount used in this recipe only gives off a subtle, romantic flavour, with just enough honey to cradle the citrus. All righty?
And I want to thank all of you for reading my recipes, because without this blog I would be playing way too much Sims 4.
LET THE BEAT DROP.
Flapper pie: a “Canadian prairie staple”. It is a vanilla custard (no bake) pie classically topped with meringue, but I think meringue is unappetizing, so I used whipped cream which just makes it all the more creamy. I first tried this in 2011 when my aunt casually whipped it out for dessert during a visit. As if it were no big deal that she was sitting on top of what would become one of my go-to pie recipes. I think I underestimated her because she’s sweet and lovely. It turns out she just plays her recipe cards close to her chest.