Pots De Creme

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Part one: a recipe for a rich and dense chocolate custard you can make with just four ingredients, and a blender! An idiot could make this dessert. (And an idiot did!)

Part two: another prank on my mom.

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Espresso Energy Balls

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Hiii. Due to the overwhelming (luke-warm) response on my Instagram page, I decided to make this my next post. You know when you’re at work and you just need a little snacky-poo? This is the snacky-poo you need. Creamy almond butter, rolled oats and ground flaxseed mixed with freshly ground espresso and chocolate chips, then rolled into bite-size balls that you can eat quickly and suspiciously because you’re not really supposed to be eating at work. And then somebody says, “What’s that?”

“It’s an energy ball!”

“What’s an energy ball?” 

“It’s like a, like, rolled oats and almond butter, and some chocolate, there’s some energy in there. It’s balls-it’s a ball. It tastes good. …..I have energy now!”

You too can have the energy, if you make these balls.

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Cold Brew Coffee

IMG_7276_My first job was at a tiny cafe when I was sixteen. I worked there for two years making lattes and shit, way before I knew that being a barista was supposed to be “cool”. I got there at 6:30AM and would shoot the shit with a bunch of salty old men while I brewed their coffee. (One time we ran out of cream, so I gave them milk instead. I got a real tongue lashing for that one, Jesus Christ.) WELL it turns out that during my time as a coffee machine, I didn’t actually learn that much. There is a lot more to making coffee than I thought, and I’m still learning.

I’ve finally learned of the brewing method called the “cold brew”. So this is going to be a Cold Brew How-to. Apparently, cold brew coffee is not just “iced coffee” – it is literally coffee brewed with cold water. It’s an easy beverage to make ahead of time, it’s less acidic with a smoother flavour, and can keep up to two weeks in the fridge. You can just pour a cup before work, add cream, don’t add cream, some ice maybe, and it’s a super quick iced coffee to-go.

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Cinnamon Bun Biscotti

IMG_1447“Do you know what biscotti is?” I asked my boyfriend lovingly, and with an appropriately serious tone.

“It’s that long hard cookie you dick into your coffee,” he responded, “I mean dunk.”

I swooned.

I used to hate biscotti, until, like, yesterday, because I didn’t understand it. HARD cookie? Sliced? Crunchy? Words? What was going on. But it turns out, biscotti is pretty good. And even though I’ve never tried the store-bought stuff, I’m sure (like anything else) homemade is better. And these really taste like oblong cinnamon buns.

So enjoy your dicking. I mean dunking.

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