You know when you are really cool and confident, and everything you want to say comes out smoothly? I don’t. I do know how it feels to sneeze and fart at the same time in public, or trip over my own toe…
So today I ventured out into the city with my family, deep into tourist-territory to get lunch. We stopped at a small food stand, and after asking a few quick questions about the menu, I confidently order my food.
“That’s $10.88,” says the guy behind the counter. Channeling Angelina Jolie, I sexily whip a bill out of my wallet and pass it to him with with a charming smile.
“Keep the change,” I say, like someone who has lots of money. (I’d like to add that I usually pay with debit so I never have the opportunity to say this and I was feeling pretty fucking suave),
“…..$10.88”, he repeats, more slowly this time. Is this guy frickin blind? I just handed him a ten.
“OH uhhh my bad, I thought, yep, no worries I’ll pay on debit”. I am Kristen Wigg now. I show him my prettiest smile, to break the tension. He doesn’t smile. I tip him extra to prove I can do simple math.
PIN CANCELED, the machine reads. I curl my top lip back into my mouth and cringe inside. We try again.
CANCELED. “Let’s try it again,” he says, with no amusement in his voice. There is a line of customers behind me.
CANCELED. Quickly morphing into the Awkward Seal Meme. I stab my fingers into my wallet to search for change. I hand him a loonie.
“I guess I’ll pay cash”, I say. He hands me back a dime. I glance at the tip jar, then at the cashier, and back at the tip jar again.
I am a seal now. I flop into the ocean and swim away.
Usually I’d expect a decadent brownie to include melted chocolate (like my Two-Bite Brownies), but these are straight cocoa, and they are just as flavourful. If you’re even the most basic baker, you should have all these ingredients at any time. There’s nothing that frustrates me more than being one ingredient away from making the treat I want.
- ½ cup melted butter (not hot!)
- 1 ¼ cup sugar
- ¾ cup cocoa powder (unsweetened)
- ½ tsp salt
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 2 large eggs
- 1/3 cup flour
- bittersweet chocolate, grated or chopped (optional – I grated chocolate into mine. YUM!)
Preheat oven to 325F.
Combine melted butter, sugar, cocoa powder, salt and vanilla in a medium sized bowl. Mix well.
Add eggs and stir until combined.
Sprinkle with flour, and mix just until combined. (If you are adding any chocolate chunks/shavings, fold them in now!)
Pour into a greased, square baking pan (or line it with parchment paper).