How To Stay Calm When Everything’s Ruined

If you’re learning to bake, or new to baking, or have anger issues, maybe this post can help you.

I hope people that meet me think I’m a lovely girl. I hope they think that I’m kind, fair, patient and thoughtful. But most of those people will never see me in the kitchen, foaming at the mouth over an under-baked brioche. They may never hear me swearing at a plate of burned cookies (actually that’s bullshit, I’ve never burned cookies). But one day, they could. So I (and we) need to know how to stay calm during a baking disaster, so everyone can keep thinking I’m a perfect person.

I just try to remember that even though I’ve ruined everything and my life is over, I may as well try to continue the recipe because I’d rather eat something shitty looking than nothing at all. Besides, it might come out nicer looking than I think.

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While putting together our pie, we forgot to dot the apples with butter and flour (to thicken the filling). The sudden realization is often followed by an “ahhhh SHIT” (by me) and a surprised “oh no!” by mom. BUT all we did was carefully peel back the pie top like a scab, throw the butter in, and seal ‘er back up. Yeah I compared apple pie to a scab. Go to another blog then!

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I hate looking at this picture. It makes me mad. Here I rolled the dough out too thinly so that when I rolled it into a log, it wouldn’t hold its shape and just squashed down when I tried to slice the buns. I sliced them anyway. Still got nice buns. Don’t give up.

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Here i made tiramisu, and over-soaked the lady fingers so that the extra espresso pooled throughout the dessert, diluting the cream and generally ruining everything. There’s not really a happy ending to this one. I was choked.

Hope this helps. Try not to swear at the innocent people that wander curiously into the kitchen. They love you and they want to help.

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