Dark Chocolate Coconut Protein Bars

 

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I just wanna say that I really wrestled with the title for this recipe. I think I took the mature route by calling these what they are, but I wanted to call them what they look like. Protein turds. What is more catchy than that? I’m serious. You’re not going to forget a recipe with the word “turd” in it. You’re just not. And once you try them you will think “God that turd was good. Give me another turd.”

It’s just good to be original.

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup vanilla whey protein
  • 1/4 cup flaked, unsweetened coconut
  • 1/4 cup oat flour (calm down I’m gonna show you how to make it)
  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup dark chocolate

(TL;DR? Scroll to the bottom of this post for the express recipe, no pics!)

IMG_0878First we need to make the oat flour.

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Using a little over 1/4 cup, blend the oats in a food processor (or blender if you have to) until a flour is formed. Basically you don’t want to see any more oat flakes. You could also use coconut flour or any other kind of flour for this. Pour the oat flour into a medium sized bowl.

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That’s my hand!! Hi, mom!! I’m on the internet again!!!
IMG_0882Add the 1/2 cup of protein powder to the bowl of oat flour.

IMG_0883Add flaked coconut and mixie mixie

IMG_0885Please add the 1/4 cup milk, sweetie!!!

IMG_0888Mix everything together unti you’ve formed a pliable dough. If it’s too wet, just slowly add more oat flour until it is dry enough to handle.
IMG_0890Using your prettiest little paws, shape the dough into 6 turdy little logs. At this point you may throw your protein bars in the freezer to firm up before the chocolate dipping.
IMG_0889Using a double boiler (a heat-proof bowl over a pot of simmering water) melt the chocolate. When melted, dip the bars to coat completely, then refrigerate. These are best kept cold.

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Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup vanilla whey protein
  • 1/4 cup flaked, unsweetened coconut
  • 1/4 cup oat flour (calm down I’m gonna show you how to make it)
  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup dark chocolate

 

Method:

Using a food processor (or blender), pulse just over 1/4 cup of rolled oats until you’ve created a fine flour, rid of any flakes. Put oat flour into a medium-sized bowl.

Add 1/2 cup protein powder, 1/4 flaked coconut and mix. Pour in 1/4 cup milk, and mix until a dough has formed. If it is too wet, add a little more oat flour until it is pliable.

Shape dough into 6 bars and refrigerate.

Using a double boiler (a heat-proof bowl over a pot of simmering water) melt the chocolate. Remove from heat, and turn bars over in the bowl of chocolate, one at a time, until completely coated. These are best kept cold.

These taste very similar to Bounty chocolate bars. They are sweet but not too sweet, soft, moist and don’t taste heavily of whey protein either. I don’t want to know that I’m eating a protein bar. ¬†I want to think that I am eating a chocolate bar that just happens to have protein in it.

I do that with cake too (except the protein is never there).

 

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