That moment during breakfast when you’re bent over eating, and then your eggs become kind of stringy and then you realize it’s because you’re eating your own hair.
*Except for the part where my older sister arrived hungover even though she knew when the tea party was because it happened to be at her very own house, Steph I’m talking to you. NEVER FORGET.
This is my super fast, easy, shit-for-brains pasta recipe, known traditionally as “Spaghetti Olio e Aglio” which I can’t pronounce – hence the new name. My friend Paolo made this for me years ago, and I’ve just been cooking this ever since. Paolo is really good at cooking Italian food (never figured out why) and would produce pasta recipes out of thin air. Then they’d disappear and we’d never eat them again! So I had to learn to make this myself.
Thankfully, it is stupidly easy, and absolutely delicious. It will give you a new outlook on spaghetti: it’s not just for marinara sauce and meatballs. All you need is five ingredients, and a friend.
…Because it serves two. You can still eat this if you have no friends!
HI HELLO SORRY I’M LATE, MY CAR BROKE DOWN. I usually post recipes on Sundays, but I was out of town and didn’t make anything noteworthy until I got back last night. So please forgive me (and if you can’t forgive me then you must forgive yourself for being impatient).
I used to make these wraps every day during my first ever job at a cafe when I was sixteen. They were pretty popular, and the recipe for the Thai sauce in them is quick to make and keeps in the fridge for up to two weeks. It’s a little sweet with a good sesame flavour coming through, and you can control the heat with the amount of hot sauce you add. This wrap is usually made with sweet bell peppers, but I had a lot of tomatoes, so I used tomatoes. Use whatever you want!
You could use it as a spread or dip – maybe on chicken strips. Maybe on stricken chips. Chippen stricks?
I’m really tired. Make this fucking wrap. I love you all.
Usually I consume coffee like other people consume alcohol, sort of shot-by-shot (it’s actually unhealthy how fast I drink a hot cup of coffee). But once in a while I like to drink it slow like a distinguished old man, and during those times I like to have something to dunk in there. There are so many flavours of biscotti but I like to pick those that would compliment my coffee in case the cookie were to break off into my cup, which is why I settled on maple.
“Katie. Why don’t you just go to Jessica Seinfeld’s website? Jerry Seinfeld’s wife. She has a food blog AND a cookbook, and she is funny. Just send her a picture of yourself and say you admire her and MAYBE she will link you to her thousands of Instagram followers? THAT’S who you should be making connections with. People like that.”
What have I been waiting for? All I have to do is email the most famous people I can think of? DOY. Well fuck it, why don’t we just skip Jessica Seinfeld and go straight to Oprah??
Mom, you’re the cutest.
My first job was at a tiny cafe when I was sixteen. I worked there for two years making lattes and shit, way before I knew that being a barista was supposed to be “cool”. I got there at 6:30AM and would shoot the shit with a bunch of salty old men while I brewed their coffee. (One time we ran out of cream, so I gave them milk instead. I got a real tongue lashing for that one, Jesus Christ.) WELL it turns out that during my time as a coffee machine, I didn’t actually learn that much. There is a lot more to making coffee than I thought, and I’m still learning.
I’ve finally learned of the brewing method called the “cold brew”. So this is going to be a Cold Brew How-to. Apparently, cold brew coffee is not just “iced coffee” – it is literally coffee brewed with cold water. It’s an easy beverage to make ahead of time, it’s less acidic with a smoother flavour, and can keep up to two weeks in the fridge. You can just pour a cup before work, add cream, don’t add cream, some ice maybe, and it’s a super quick iced coffee to-go.
Every time I go to the grocery store I walk past the display of two-bite brownies, giving them a once-over. They look good, they look like they are interested in me. Should I approach? What should I say? Wait, they are brownies.
In fact, they are a $4 bag of brownies. So I ask myself this question when analyzing treats: could I make this myself? If the answer is yes, I’ll probably try it. Because a) everything tastes better homemade, and b) it will save me money. I love saving money almost as much as I love eating..