Are you spending all of your money at Starbucks? Have you been reduced to rags, desperately chewing on old, used cellophane for sustenance? Well, if the drink you’re addicted to is the Caramel Apple Spice, I can help you make it at home.
Because the only thing keeping us all from true happiness is more sugar.
So these are called madeleines. They are shell-shaped, French sponge cakes. Perfect for tea. Some people I’ve shared them with have taken to calling them “football cookies”. These are not football cookies. They are delicate, fancy tea cakes and they demand your respect and poise. Somebody having a bad day? Give them one of these tiny sponge cakes and watch their fingertips curl as they delicately eat the shit out of it with their mouth.
Hiii. Due to the overwhelming (luke-warm) response on my Instagram page, I decided to make this my next post. You know when you’re at work and you just need a little snacky-poo? This is the snacky-poo you need. Creamy almond butter, rolled oats and ground flaxseed mixed with freshly ground espresso and chocolate chips, then rolled into bite-size balls that you can eat quickly and suspiciously because you’re not really supposed to be eating at work. And then somebody says, “What’s that?”
“It’s an energy ball!”
“What’s an energy ball?”
“It’s like a, like, rolled oats and almond butter, and some chocolate, there’s some energy in there. It’s balls-it’s a ball. It tastes good. …..I have energy now!”
You too can have the energy, if you make these balls.
HI, hey, look over here I have another breakfast recipe, straight from the kitchen of Gordon Ramsay. Well it’s actually from his Youtube channel. But I trust Gordon Ramsay. He’s a great cook and he makes these funny hand gestures when he explains things, like my mom. Hi, mom.
Now, most of you have had scrambled eggs… But I bet a lot of you have never had scrambled eggs like this. They are creamier, softer, and sexier than the scrambled eggs you grew up with. They are the scrambled eggs of the upper crust. They are the scrambled eggs that Queen Elizabeth would eat.
Hi friends. I’ve been away for a while. But I’m here now. Did you know that natural sunlight is pretty imperative to food photography if you have no artificial lighting? Yeah. It is important. I’ve just been taking awful photo after awful photo. But then I woke up one morning and it was like Beyonce was standing in the doorway: there was an overwhelming burst of sunshine, my hair blew back, and I knew everything was going to be OK. I whipped up my usual Bacon, Egg & Avocado Bagel and I snapped these pictures for you. This recipe is fucking delicious.
I wake up like this.
This recipe is Flawless.
It was the Best Thing I Ever Had.
OK OK I’m done.
Here I am doing some Christmas worship:
Get off the floor you fuckin weirdo.
Throwing it back to the time I got my first (and only) chef’s hat, made by my mom. This was obviously before I had surgery to correct my T-rex arms. I still have that hat somewhere. I should wear it.
Thanks mom and dad, for capturing these precious moments in my life. Who knows what was happening here (maybe it was the velvet shirt EW) but it was probably my sister’s fault…which is maybe why she laughs the hardest at this picture.
And I know what you’re thinking, that photo looks familiar, right? Well allow me to refresh your memory…
Hello my babies.
It’s raining here in Victoria and when I think of rain, I inevitably think of soup. (Obviously, what a cliche train of thought…This girl is so boring.) When I was growing up, my mom would make soup or stew on rainy days, and I would cry. It seems kind of dramatic, but soup just isn’t my style. The only thing that made me cry faster than soup was being dragged along to Fabricland with my mom. A stranger’s van is more kid-friendly than Fabricland. (Sorry, mom. Love you.) Anyway, let’s get back to this bangin’ SOUP.
Here’s me enjoying a ride at the fall fair with my sister. age 6-ish. I was an adrenaline junkie.