Raspberry Cheesecake Parfaits (For Two)

IMG_0606_Paula Deen is a lot of things: racist, Southern, butter… But damnit, she makes great dessert. And if you like cheesecake (like me), but are too lazy to make it (like me), then these parfaits are the answer. You get the rich and creamy texture of a cheesecake with that tangy and sweet raspberry, but don’t have to bullshit with slicing anything. So no one can point at you and say “HAY SHE HAD THREE PIECES!!!” You’ll say, “No, I had one huge jar. Now shut up and eat your kale chips.”

The best part about this dessert is that it’s red and white, so you can make it for Canada Day and pass it off as patriotic! YAAAY!

The worst part about it is nothing. There is no bad part about it.

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Best Blackberry Cobbler

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I worked hard for this cobbler. I slithered my arm through tangles of thorns, I balanced like a ballerina on the tip of my big toe to reach the juiciest blackberries at the top of the bush. I risked falling into a nest of prickles to bring you this recipe. But it was all worth it, because this is the best blackberry dessert I’ve ever had, and the only cobbler I’ll ever make. It’s very simple, easy, and you will burn your mouth rushing to eat it.

This is straight from my cookbook by Ree Drummond from The Pioneer Woman. Her recipes are sugar free, gluten free, fat free, and guilt free, just like mine. HAHA. Just kidding. The Pioneer Woman was the first food blog I ever read, and the one that inspired me to start my own. I realize that linking to her website is going to create an immediate comparison of our photos or recipes, but there is one thing I think I have on Ree Drummond. Since I’m not being paid by advertisers or any television network, I’m uncensored. I have my freedom. I can still say the F-word.

………………….Fart.

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Lemon Poppy Seed Cake

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I like a cake that can be paired with tea. I am a tea girl. A sweetea, if you will. I have never been crazy about lemon-flavoured desserts, though; you won’t find me having any sort of lemon party here. But throwing a bunch of butter into the batter really balances the citrus in this recipe, and it’s even topped with a lemon-butter syrup that soaks right into the cake. And yeah, I’m still going to spread butter on every slice, because I’m a butterface. Wait – no.

Just try this recipe and check your teeth.

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English Crumpet with Strawberry Reduction


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So I’ve had an SLR camera for about five years now, and I just learned what “aperture” and “shutter speed” meant about three days ago. I guess I should be embarrassed but I just live in my own little world doing my little doogie thang (doogie is a word I use for anyone that is lovably clueless/stupid/unaware). So I hope you’ll find that these pictures look slightly brighter, more colourful and more pleasurable to your eyeball.

If there’s some photographer out there looking at my photos, I know they’ve got a sympathetic smirk on their face as if to say, “Oh look, she wants to be a photographer! Bless her heart.”

Bless my heart, you guys.

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