Best Blackberry Cobbler

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I worked hard for this cobbler. I slithered my arm through tangles of thorns, I balanced like a ballerina on the tip of my big toe to reach the juiciest blackberries at the top of the bush. I risked falling into a nest of prickles to bring you this recipe. But it was all worth it, because this is the best blackberry dessert I’ve ever had, and the only cobbler I’ll ever make. It’s very simple, easy, and you will burn your mouth rushing to eat it.

This is straight from my cookbook by Ree Drummond from The Pioneer Woman. Her recipes are sugar free, gluten free, fat free, and guilt free, just like mine. HAHA. Just kidding. The Pioneer Woman was the first food blog I ever read, and the one that inspired me to start my own. I realize that linking to her website is going to create an immediate comparison of our photos or recipes, but there is one thing I think I have on Ree Drummond. Since I’m not being paid by advertisers or any television network, I’m uncensored. I have my freedom. I can still say the F-word.

………………….Fart.

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Lemon Poppy Seed Cake

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I like a cake that can be paired with tea. I am a tea girl. A sweetea, if you will. I have never been crazy about lemon-flavoured desserts, though; you won’t find me having any sort of lemon party here. But throwing a bunch of butter into the batter really balances the citrus in this recipe, and it’s even topped with a lemon-butter syrup that soaks right into the cake. And yeah, I’m still going to spread butter on every slice, because I’m a butterface. Wait – no.

Just try this recipe and check your teeth.

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Lazy Daisy Cake

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Lazy Daisy Cake! Ever heard of it? It is a light and fluffy vanilla cake topped with a buttery coconut frosting set under the broiler to caramelize. I really needed this cake this weekend after I woke up to make myself a Big Girl Breakfast complete with hash browns and back bacon, only to find that I had accidentally left the back bacon in my backpack overnight, making it worthless and inedible. I don’t like to waste food, and I especially don’t like to waste bacon. So I took a deep breath, and spiked the chunk of back bacon off the living room floor straight into the kitchen while screaming some blend of expletives.

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Chocolate Log (AKA Icebox Cake)

IMG_6409_Welcome to the easiest, most simple dessert you’ll ever make. A complete IDIOT could make this cake. Your dog could make this cake. That kid that picked their nose in elementary school while blank-faced staring out the window could make this cake (although nobody would want to eat it).

It is layers of chocolate cookies and whipped cream, refrigerated until the cookies soften into cake. It isn’t an overly sweet cake (the cookies taste similar to Oreos) and being a refrigerated dessert, it is very refreshing during this hot-as-shit weather. I made the cookies from scratch (from the recipe below) but if you really wanted to speed things up, you could use store-bought chocolate wafer cookies, which would make this a 2-ingredient recipe. They are just hard to find sometimes, and I have better things to do than wander around the cookie aisle (LOL jk).

WARNING: this cake must be refrigerated overnight at least! This is not a same-day recipe. SORRY!!!

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Bee Sting Cake


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 In high school my mom and I would make frequent shopping trips in the next town over, and when we were feeling naughty we’d stop at the famous Coombs Market for a bee sting donut. My mom loves dessert as much as I do (she taught me to bake) and she’s always daydreaming about a slice of cold cake, that isn’t too sweet or too rich. Versus my dad, who will act like he’s unsure of the dessert but will be found at 2AM bent over the counter, fork in hand and a guilty look on his face. My dad doesn’t discriminate against desserts. I like him.

This cake has less than 1 cup of refined sugar in the entire recipe (plus 3 tablespoons of honey). It is a yeasted cake, lightly sweetened, with a homemade, smooth vanilla custard and caramelized almond slices for a crunchy topping.

Try it. You’ll like it. And if you don’t like it, then you can buzz off.

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Easter Egg Cakes

IMG_3284In preparation for Easter, I am supplying you with a recipe that is cool as hell. I have been sitting on it for about 3-4 years, for no good reason. So here it is. The cool-hellest treat you’ll find. YES QUEEN.

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Lavender Madeleines

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I like to feel fancy. When I’m sitting in my purple robe trying to recreate the cast of Grey’s Anatomy on Sims4  while watching Grey’s Anatomy, while wearing my I Love Grey’s Anatomy shirt, I need a little something to make me feel poised.

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