Whenever a guest walks onto a talk show, they are laughing like someone told them a hilarious joke backstage right before coming out. What a cool job. Do they also have someone backstage on 20/20 to whisper something fucked up in your ear so you are appropriately solemn when you sit down with Diane Sawyer? Like “Ellen Degeneres pinches babies when no one is looking” or “Whoopi Goldberg and Oprah really are the same person“. I think I’d be good at that job.
I love breakfast, because half of the menu is basically dessert. I almost never order anything savoury like eggs and bacon, especially if I know someone else is having waffles or pancakes. I like to avoid any kind of food regret or disappointment.
*WARNING: This post has one f-word in it. If you are easily offended, have an irrational fear of the letter F, or over the age of 50, please leave the room now.
So I’ve had an SLR camera for about five years now, and I just learned what “aperture” and “shutter speed” meant about three days ago. I guess I should be embarrassed but I just live in my own little world doing my little doogie thang (doogie is a word I use for anyone that is lovably clueless/stupid/unaware). So I hope you’ll find that these pictures look slightly brighter, more colourful and more pleasurable to your eyeball.
If there’s some photographer out there looking at my photos, I know they’ve got a sympathetic smirk on their face as if to say, “Oh look, she wants to be a photographer! Bless her heart.”
Bless my heart, you guys.